It's okay not to be okay

‘If we are able to accept and even welcome the emotions that we have, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant, we are likely to be happier and more satisfied’ – Maya Tamir

We've been conditioned to think that feeling anything other than happy, positive and accomplished means that we are lacking in confidence, faith or suffering from some inner turmoil. As a result, we don’t give ourselves permission to be the most authentic version of ourselves. Many of us end up concealing our true feelings under a mask so that we can show the world that we’re okay and we aren’t falling apart. Every day we put on a performance. And every day that we do this is a disservice to ourselves. Yes, it’s probably easier to just fake a smile even though that’s the last thing you want to do. But the problem with not allowing yourself to be fragile is that it’s disingenuous; to yourself and to those around you who care about you. As a result, because you're pretending to be okay for others, you'll end up searching for external validation when what you actually need is to be honest with yourself and accept yourself as you are.

I used to think that most people knew what they were doing until I realised that we’re all just winging it. Even the people I think have it all together don’t always know what they’re doing. I began to understand that everyone feels inadequate sometimes; and that they deal with demons that others know nothing about. Some people are just better at hiding their emotions than others.

Life is already overwhelming, stressful and full of relentless pressure. It won't always be a pleasant experience; so there's no need to pretend you're okay when you're not. Sure, most of us want to feel pleasant emotions. However, in my opinion, one of the keys to being content is to actually allow yourself to feel the uncomfortable emotions. In the past, when I felt unpleasant emotions, I immediately wanted to claw my way out of that place. This actually made me feel even worse. These days, when I feel glum, I acknowledge the feeling and use at least three adjectives to describe the way I’m feeling. When I have a better understanding of how I am feeling, I am more in control and I feel less consumed by my emotions. There’s power in vulnerability; in admitting that you aren’t okay. It’s okay to be unsure, down and discouraged. In these moments, allow yourself to feel your emotions; don’t run. When you’re able to do this, you will feel more in control and be able to carry yourself through to the other side. Look at it as an opportunity to accept yourself for who you are; so that you don’t have to seek validation from others. Know that you are a human being who cannot always be fearless, optimistic and elated.

Sometimes you might not even know why you're sad; you don't always need a reason to feel this way. It's okay to feel like a mess, to feel a bit hopeless and like nothing is going your way. It doesn't make you ungrateful. Life is challenging and full of obstacles; that's why you need to cut yourself some slack and not compare yourself to others. Remember that we're each on our own journey and that no two people are the same.

Remember that you occupy a very important space in the universe. There’s a reason why you are the way that you are, and that is your power. Also remember that life is full of infinite beauty, even on your worst days.

#selfcare #lifestyle #health