Don't forget to check on your 'strong' friend

Most of us have that one friend that we know we can call when it feels like everything is falling apart. This person is strong, reliable, and provides support whenever you need it.

They seem to have it all together ― they are responsible, wise and patient. If you're lucky enough to have someone like this in your life, please, never forget to check on them.

Life can get really busy, and it can be easy to forget that other people need us too; just as much as we need them from time to time. Because of the kind of support your 'strong' friend provides you with, you could assume that this friend is always okay. But let's not forget that they have problems of their own and probably don't want to bother anyone with them. More often than not, this person is pretty independent and won't willingly speak about their problems unless they're asked. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the automatic answer to the question "how are you?" is often "I'm good" or "I'm okay". We just say these things without even thinking twice. In general, there is already too much stigma around admitting that you aren't actually okay; people are afraid to come across as dramatic or overly sensitive. This experience is probably more intense for your 'strong' friend. As a result, many isolate themselves because they fear that others might either judge them or not understand them. Don't let this be you. Be the kind of person that your 'strong' friend can lean on when they're going through a tough period in their life.

Remember that people don't ask for their problems. Check on your 'strong' friend and let them know how much you value and appreciate them. Show up for them the same way that they show up for you. Also remember that this person is obviously strong for a reason. They are strong because of the experiences that have shaped them; they've probably endured a lot of pain that you know nothing about; and they've sometimes put other people's needs above their own. It'd be great if you let them know that they don't have to keep it together all the time.

I also want to emphasise how important it is for us to be vulnerable around our friends; so that they feel safe around us. So that they don't feel the need to pretend to be okay around us. So that they know that they can come to us in their most vulnerable state and we won't judge them. Our vulnerability can be a gift to others.

It costs nothing to be kind and to make sure that the people you love are doing okay. Check on all of them; the seemingly happy ones, the strong ones, the funny ones, check on all of them. A lot of people are fighting battles that they don’t speak openly about.

"Not everyone is on the brink of losing it or on the way to something tragic, but we should at least focus on the well-being of the people we love before we don't get a chance to love them anymore". -Grace Sallee

Thabile x

#health #love #friendship