7 things no one tells you about your early twenties

1) That debit order your parents have for your allowance? Yeah, that's not going to last much longer. For some reason, people assume that once you've turned 21 you've got your shi*t together. Suddenly you're kicked off the medical aid plan and have to prove that you still need your parents support in order to be put back on. Your parents will also probably sit you down to have a conversation about cutting you off soon. Some parents might even talk to you about contributing to the household in some way by paying rent for example. Either way, you're going to have to start being more independent. Also, it's time to start paying for your own gym membership.

2) You will lose quite a few friends. As you get older, you become very particular about whom you spend your time with, and rightfully so. You learn to protect your peace and you learn to put yourself and your needs first. You realise that some people aren't worth keeping around anymore because they do not contribute to your life in a positive way. Your circle will get smaller and smaller; you'll almost cut yourself off! All of this is natural and part of the human experience. We naturally draw closer to those with whom we have much in common, and those who make us feel happy, comfortable and appreciated. This is important because your twenties are a time for you to really figure yourself out; the last thing you need is negativity and toxicity in your life.

3) You will have your heart broken, multiple times.

The good news is that even though it sucks, it doesn't last forever. It's unlikely that you will find 'the one' at this age because the truth is that most of us are still trying to figure out which qualities we want in a partner. Also, never stay with someone simply because you are comfortable. NEVER SETTLE. There are so many good, kind people out there who will treat you with respect and you don't have to settle just because you're comfortable. That only leads to dysfunction. Unfortunately, you have to go through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. But the bad stuff won't last forever.

4) Adulting is hard, and sometimes it sucks.

It's probably time to stop looking for an adultier adult to do things for you because guess what? You're the adult now. You have to start booking your own doctor's appointments and you also have to go to the dentist because it's just the smart thing to do. You have to start buying things like fruit and vitamins, and you actually have to stay active (or try) and really take care of yourself because your parents aren't going to remind you of all these things or do them for you anymore.

5) It's okay to feel lost, and like your life isn't following a particular path. Remember when we were all younger and thought we'd have a beautiful home, a partner and some kids by 25? Yeah, that won't be the case for many people. It's okay to feel like nothing is going your way, and like you want to run away to never-land. It's okay to feel really confused, a lot of people in their twenties still don't know what they want to do with their lives. One of the things I've realised is that you'll inevitably compare your life to those around you and wonder what it is that you could be doing differently. And that's alright. But it is important to remember that everyone is on their own journey, and some people find their calling sooner than others. Life is not a race; and the only person you need to be competing with is the person you were yesterday. Nobody else. Just because you're taking a different route, doesn't mean you're a loser.

6) Not everyone will support the choices you make.

Your parents included. That's the issue with a generation gap. They may not always understand and support your dreams. You won't always please every single person with the choices you make. Human beings disagree, we aren't meant to have the exact same views on everything. It's okay to make choices that some may not agree with. As long as you stay true to yourself, you're happy and you aren't hurting anyone unnecessarily.

7) All things considered, in my opinion, they really are some of the best years of your life.

It's important to set goals and to have a plan for your life, but remember to stop and live in the moment. Time really does fly. Make meaningful connections with people, be selfish sometimes, spend time with your parents, do things that scare you, get out of your comfort zone, eat that extra slice of cake because you will not be young forever. Find whatever makes you happy and do it on purpose, and unapologetically.

Thabile x

#lifestyle